How I can help my child to become more self-confidence?
Teenagers often feel inadequate. They have new bodies and developing minds and relationships with friends and family that are changing. First understand that not always do everything right. Changes in their lives sometimes go faster than the ability to adapt.
Low self-esteem usually worsens during the first years of adolescence, then improves somewhat during the following years as new identities are strengthened and focused. At any age, lack of confidence itself can be a serious problem. Teens who lack self-esteem may be lonely, awkward in their dealings with others and very sensitive to criticism about what they think are their shortcomings. Young boys with low self-confidence are less likely to participate in activities with their peers and form friendships with them. This further isolates them and prevents develop a better image of themselves. And when you make friends, are more vulnerable to negative peer pressure.
Some teens who do not have confidence in themselves fail to participate in class. Others act out for attention. At its worst, lack of confidence is related to self-destructive behavior and bad habits such as smoking, drinking alcohol and taking drugs.
Girls often doubt themselves more than men (although there are exceptions). This is due to several reasons:
- Society sends the message that what matters is that they get along with everyone and to be very, very thin and pretty. Life can be equally hard for a boy who thinks he has to meet the expectations of society who say that all men must be good athletes and should play well for physical activity.
- Girls mature physically about two years earlier than males, which requires them to deal with issues as it looks, popularity and sexuality before they are emotionally mature to do so.
- The girls receive mixed messages about the importance of academic performance. Although they are told they must set high academic goals for themselves, many men fear that they will be displeasing if they seem too intelligent or capable, especially in mathematics, science and technology.
If your teen suffers from a crisis of confidence for a long time, you may benefit from seeing a counselor or another professional. This is particularly true if there is a problem with drugs or alcohol, a learning disability, an eating disorder like bulimia or anorexia, or clinical depression. (See the section entitled Problems, for more information that can help you determine if your child fits into one of these categories.) Most adolescents overcome periods of instability over time and with your support.
There are certain things that the teen feel more confident in their ability to do well than others.
Most psychologists feel that self-esteem and confidence in itself represent a variety of feelings that a young man has about himself under different circumstances. Psychologist Susan Harter has developed a theory about self-confidence that believes that a teenager feels about any type of activity and how important this type of activity for him. For example, adolescents may think about various situations: competing on the track team, studying mathematics, engage in romantic relationships, caring for younger siblings, and others. There are certain things that the teen feel more confident in their ability to do well than others. Perhaps you feel very good about his athleticism and knowledge of mathematics, but it feels bad when it comes to his romantic life is concerned. Perhaps doubt that it is a good brother. How well this young man will feel will depend on how important are each of these aspects of his life. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend is what matters most, this person will feel worse. If what matters most is to highlight both academically and in sports, then it is likely that their self-concept will be pretty good. Using this theory as a basis, the best ways to help your child develop self-confidence are:
. Provide opportunities to succeed. As stated by the teacher Diane Crim, "The best way to encourage confidence in someone is offering them opportunities to succeed. We must facilitate their success by giving them experiences through which they can see all the power they have. The boys are figuring out these experiences. Part of what creates confidence is knowing what to do when you do not know what to do.
Help your child to build confidence in their abilities to encourage you to take an art class, act in a play, play in a football or baseball team to participate in science fairs or computer clubs or play a musical instrument-whatever you enjoy and to help you highlight your best features. Do not push a specific activity to a force. Most children, no matter whether they are 3 or 13 years old, resist efforts to force them to do things that they enjoy. If they are pushed to do things they have not chosen to do, the result is frustration. Try to balance your child's experiences between activities already knows well and perform new activities or activities that he is not so.
You can help build self-confidence by giving tasks and family responsibilities in which he can succeed-saving dishwasher, cleaning his room or mowing the lawn.
. Help them feel safe and trust in themselves. The ability of young people to trust themselves unconditional love from their parents to help them feel safe and to develop the ability to solve their own problems. His son, just like all children, will face situations that require trust in yourself and others. But always worth your help to break through the tough situations with emotional development impaired. "We must teach our children how to cope with the problems they face, instead of easing the path," says teacher Anne Jolly.
. Talk about anxieties related to school violence and terrorism worldwide. Many children have seen the terrible images dies and destruction on television and the Internet. You can help your child understand that although our country has suffered awful terror, we are a strong people who can join and mutual support in difficult times. In addition, you can:
- Create a calm environment at home and in their own behavior. If your family has been directly affected by a terrorist attack or violence, this may be difficult. If you feel anxious, need to explain to your child what you are feeling and why. Children and young people are guided by emotional signals emitted by their loved ones.
- Listen carefully to what your child says. Reassure that adults in the world are working to increase safety in homes and schools.
- Help your child to discern between fiction and fact. Talk about the facts and avoid guessing, exaggerating or overreacting.
- Supervise the use of television, radio and the Internet. Prevent your child from seeing too many violent images, which can increase anxiety.
- Use examples from history (eg Pearl Harbor or the Challenger space shuttle explosion) to explain that sometimes bad things happen to the innocent, but people continue on with their lives and solve terrible situations in their lives.
- Maintain family routines as consistent as possible.
. Praise and encourage. Praise is meaningful to adolescents when they come from those who most want and who-their parents and other significant adults in their lives. When you praise your child build confidence in itself. But do not forget to praise must be sincere. It is going to realize very easily if it is not.
. Be patient. As adults, most people have developed confidence in themselves, which comes from years of experience with success, but after several years of exploring their strengths and weaknesses by emphasizing different aspects of their lives. Most of us would be very unhappy if we were to do only those things we do wrong. As adults we tend to find our strengths and, much as we can, we emphasize these areas more than others. For a teenager is very hard to minimize the areas where you feel safe. For example, it is very hard for a teenager who stands well academically focus on school instead of finding a mate if all your friends have girlfriends and I talk constantly about the importance of having someone special. This can be very frustrating for parents. You know that whether or not a couple to come out next Saturday is not what matters most in the long term, but can also see that at this moment he can not see well.
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