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Eva, Maria and women priests.

Christian theology, especially Catholic, puts women at a lower level. Considers man and woman spirit matter who plays, who denies his sexuality, emphasizing the condition of subordinating their lives to fulfill their reproductive role sentenced the woman to give birth without limits and without conditions.

The condition of subordination in which women have lived through Christian history, comes as the result of a decision divine punishment from God. The man against the woman for her participation in original sin. In the Old Testament, the woman appears as the negative symbol of the flesh, temptation, with an Eve without its own, the result of man's rib representing sin, evil, who was also responsible for the death and the pain of all humanity.

The Catholic Church covers misogyny, as demonstrated throughout history. Santo Tomas de Aquino, of the Order Dominican writes that in his Summa Theologica " women is one thing and occasional imperfect, is subject to man, in whom there is naturally better discernment of reason"

Tertullian of Carthage, Christian apologist, wrote that " each woman should be walking like Eve, distraught and remorseful, and as punishment must feel the pain of giving birth to children in need of a husband and being dominated by it. "

The Charter of the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Collaboration of Men and Women in the Church yl World, published by the Vatican on July 31, 2004, shows the clear animosity towards women in defense of God as male. Ratzinger said in this speech, that God through the Catholic Church has decided to lift the punishment of women. All she has to do is follow the example of Mary and its "rules of listening, welcoming, humility, faithfulness, praise and waiting" in the New Testament patriarchal interpretations of biblical texts by the Catholic Church emphasize , transforming the figure of a young Maria Clara, in this woman made for pain, resigned acceptance, without initiative and a lifetime devoted to chastity.

This reflection is not against religion, but specifically manifestations of discrimination against overlapping after the religious language and are estimated as products of history. Are men (men and women) who have consolidated inequality as a means of fulfilling specific social functions, eg segregation of the feminine sphere (home and upbringing, with a multiplication of the symbolic values \u200b\u200bof the depths) of of male (bounce to the outside) could be a timely and efficient adaptation. Therefore can redefine the guidelines convivial and ideological mechanisms that warrant.

feminist theology, very active, for example in the heart of Catholicism, does not intend to remove religion but the justifications of discrimination: for example in relation to women priests, and against the argument that only priests charisms given by the Holy Spirit to men, answer is not that the third person of the Trinity is male, but they are the ones that recognize these gifts, they do not look at women.

Advocates, therefore, a need to create a common framework of behavior, should agree on the disappearance of this terrible kind of discriminatory and degrading practices. This is a very complex problem: the need for a common ethic, which has respect for cultural and religious diversity, but on par with all characters religiocéntricos ethnocentric and that weakens serve to end in this case with discrimination.

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of rape as a weapon of war.


violence against women in situations of armed conflict is one of the worst forms of gender violence. When armed conflict breaks increase all forms of violence, particularly sexual violence against women. But gender-based violence is not the product of war. Does not begin with the war or to end it stops. Surge of discrimination against women. Wherever they live, women rarely have the same economic resources, or exercise the same control over her life, men. Consequently, human rights are respected to a lesser extent than those of men.

War propaganda is done in many countries shows how to reinforce stereotypes before and during these conflicts. Is the concept that women represent the honor of the community, therefore, attack the enemy's women is tantamount to attacking the whole group and, conversely, the idea of \u200b\u200bthe need to avenge the "honor besmirched" of women is used to justify violence. The threat and the sexual violence used as a weapon against the identity of a community, especially where the stakes ethnic or religious purity, as insulting to women may disrupt and demoralize the men. The contempt in which it has the "enemy" and women finds expression in rape and other forms of sexual violence.

Another type of sexual violence, enabled by military commanders, is the abduction of women to please sexually combatants. The aggressive military culture values \u200b\u200band reinforces sexist stereotypes, while undervaluing the qualities traditionally attributed to women. The armed forces stimulate the emotional bonding between men and expressions of manhood, in order to soldiers to have mutual trust and are reluctant to make any display of weakness in front of their pairs, which is an attitude ridicules as "feminine."

often tacitly condoned and even encouraged, the aggressiveness of men towards women, in a process that transforms raw recruits into "hardened warriors" through a training regime brutalizing nature.

Women are seen as the embodiment of enemy culture, so that when the military objective is to destroy that culture, it legitimizes violence against women. The combination of contempt for women, military aggression and impunity leads to widespread acts of violence are not in question.

One of the key factors that allow continue to perpetrate violence against women is the failure of governments at the time to hold accountable the perpetrators. They are entitled to see who is responsible is brought to justice and have also the right to reparation. The repair consists of five elements:
- Compensation (compensation);
- Rehabilitation (medical and psychological care and legal and social services);
- Recovery (restore the victim to the situation prior to the commission of crime);
- Guarantees of non-repetition, other forms of satisfaction, as the restoration of dignity.
- Reputation of the victim and public recognition of the damage it has suffered.

The strong condemnation of sexual violence by all persons in authority, the prosecution of those responsible for the establishment of rigorous training for military and police personnel and organizing public awareness campaigns are all elements essential in the fight to end sexual violence during armed conflict. To be able to achieve this objective, the stigma and shame of rape should be pointed at those who commit or condone sexual violence and not to their victims.

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Stop violence against women!

gender violence, is an issue that concerns us, we played, hits, hurts us, discriminate, deprive us of our liberties, imprisons us, kills us, with silence, with threats, with promises to do so again, we cheat, we use, we submit, through guilt, "bad woman", by fear, fear, uncertainty, insecurity, dependence, humiliation. That is why we accept our invisibility, isolation, rape, beatings, silence, scorn and suicide.

BASTA!

for violence against women means:

"Any act of violence based on the female gender, or is likely to result in injury or physical, sexual or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life. "

Gender-based violence against women is violence directed against a woman because she is a woman or that affects women disproportionately.

The underlying cause of violence against women is gender discrimination, which denies women equality with men in all aspects of life.

Women are also subject to specific forms of violence because of race, class, culture, sexual identity, HIV positive, or belonging to poor and marginalized communities. Control women's sexuality is a powerful mechanism through which men exert their dominance in them. Those that do not meet the standards of femininity, such as lesbians or women who choose to live independently, often punished harshly, and not just by men but by the Company.

Violence against women is not "natural" or "inevitable." Persists because society allows it. In almost all cultures of the world there are ways violence against women that go virtually unnoticed because they are considered normal or acceptable.

As violence against women remains hidden, tolerated or ignored by society and the authorities and until the perpetrators are punished, violence against women continue to be perpetuated.

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Secondary Media

How is the school for teens?

Chances are that you attended high school. " Probably the school grouped grades seven through nine and was organized as a mini-school. You moved from class to class all day and had a different teacher for each subject.

During the past 20 years, there have been many changes in the way that adolescents are educated. And they continue to change as we learn more about how to develop and learn at this age. Today there are few youngsters who attend a school like the one described at the beginning of this section. Most attend schools called "middle schools" or middle schools. Most of these schools are for grades 6 to 8, but some are in grades 5 to 8 or 5 to 7, or even only 7 to 8. As the middle school movement has accelerated, many schools have changed their organization to educate students not 10 to 12, but the grade 9 to grade 12.

As a parent you may wonder, "What are the advantages of a structure on one for my son?" Most educators believe (and scientific studies confirm) that the way a school organizes the grades is not as important as what happens inside the school. That is, what is taught and how it is taught is important that the combinations of degrees that the school chooses. Moreover, the number of school grade span does not say much about the quality of education being offered there, or indicate if instructional practices are best for teenagers which aims to educate.

Most teens entering a new school find that there is a big change. They're used to being the oldest in their school, once again they're the youngest. Many comrades are new as well as daily routines and school work. And when we combine these changes with the changes that adolescents experience stressful at this age it is not surprising that this stage can be overwhelmed and have a negative impact on motivation and self-esteem.

For these reasons, many schools have programs to assist in the transition. For example, often invite students to visit elementary school to become familiar with the building and how to find their classrooms. Or sometimes, the administrators of secondary and primary schools meet to discuss the programs each school offers. School counselors might meet to discuss how to help students make the transition easier. These and other activities can help the school more accessible.

may be fluctuating levels hormonal teenagers of any origin and with a variety of features still absorb vast amounts of information. And they can greatly benefit from a substantial curriculum. As they develop their cognitive skills, are able to complete increasingly complex projects and longer and explore subjects in more depth.

Teens often benefit from being exposed to a variety of experiences and programs-academic, recreational and vocational. These opportunities take advantage of the natural curiosity of young men and can be very valuable to open up new worlds and new possibilities. These programs can scan be fun. For these reasons, some schools offer opportunities within and outside of school for students participating in sports activities, and programs to learn foreign languages, music, drama, and the use of technology. Many schools encourage students to participate in volunteer community service. Exploratory programs can help adolescents to find their interests and help them imagine a future for themselves.

exploration programs can help adolescents to find their interests and help them imagine a future for themselves.

There is still much room for improvement in schools secondary. The results of standardized tests suggest that many young still lack the skills necessary to succeed in high school. In international comparisons our students are not scoring as well as we would like in areas such as reading and math.

More educators and lawmakers are learning that teens can reach extremely high levels. This knowledge is causing more changes in secondary education: changes in what is taught, how it is taught, how teachers are prepared, and how to evaluate what students know and can do.

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What I can do to make the media do not have a negative influence on my child?

is difficult to understand the world of adolescents without considering the great impact of media on their lives. It competes with the families, friends, schools and communities in their ability to shape the interests, attitudes and values \u200b\u200bof adolescents.

The mass media are constantly present in their lives. Most adolescents watch TV and movies, using the Internet, exchange e-mails, listen to CDs and radio stations that will target them with music and announcements commercials and read articles and advertisements in teen magazines.

First, look on the bright side. New communication technologies can be fun and exciting. Used wisely, they can also educate. Good television programs can tell, good music can comfort, and good movies can expand interests and open new horizons. Additionally, many forms of media used in the classroom, computers, cable television and VCRs are already an integral part of education. In fact, in recent years has been an effort to connect every classroom to the Internet and provide a minimum number of computers in each classroom for student use. As a result, children should be exposed to the media, at least to know how to use them.

American children spend more time with media than with their schoolwork.

The problem is that teens often do not know how or can not distinguish between what is good in the media and what is harmful. Some spend countless hours watching TV and plugged into their headphones passively eating everything they see and hear-violence, sex, cursing, stereotypes and characters and stories totally unrealistic. We know from studies such as the George Comstock and Erica went Sherrer that watching too much violence on television appears to increase aggressive behavior in children and the frequent exposure to violence makes this less surprising and easier to accept.

Students report they watch more television than their peers generally have lower grades in school and score worse on standardized tests. "In any discussion we have in the classroom is very obvious who watch more TV than others," explains teacher Sherry Tipps. "Students with less motivation in the classroom, tell them a program TV and suddenly perk up. "

As teens mature, high levels of television, electronic games and computer use results in an accumulation of negative consequences. American children spend more time with media communication with their school work. The seventh graders, for example, spend an average of 135 minutes a day watching TV and 57 minutes doing homework.

addition to the negative psychological and academic, there are bad effects physically. According to recent studies by the Surgeon General of the United States, the number of overweight teens in the country has increased dramatically over the past two decades. Being overweight can contribute to many serious medical conditions such as diabetes.

Other negative influences in the media. For example, we have recently seen an increase in the number of ads in magazines, including ads for harmful products such as alcohol and snuff, which are aimed specifically at teenagers.

Your child will benefit from your advice to help balance the activities related to the media with other activities such as reading, talking with family and spending time with friends. Here are some tips on how help your child choose wisely how to use the media:

- Limit the time your child watches television. is impossible to completely protect your child from the media. If you completely prohibits television, will only make you appear more attractive than ever. But some parents do prohibit the TV during the week, with some exceptions that have been agreed beforehand.

Remember that it is easier to restrict bad choices if you say no before your child brings home CDs or computer games insists offensive or watch TV excessively violent. Let him know that you have intend to monitor what they choose to see or hear.

- Monitor what your child sees and hears. Former principal Carole Kennedy advised, "Do not just on the volume of the music, listen to the lyrics too." Learn about TV shows and movies that interest your child, you want to play electronic games and music they want to hear. If you are knowledgeable about the interests of your child, you enter into his world with ease and can talk to them with greater knowledge and power. Ask groups or singers you enjoy listening. Read about your favorite artists in magazines or listen to your music on the radio or CD.

You can also watch or listen to your child. So you can spend time with him and to learn more about the programs, games and music that he likes. Talk about what they are seeing and hearing.

- Suggest TV programs you want to see. Encourage your child to watch TV programs on a variety of topics, nature, travel, history, science, biography and news, as well as programs to entertain. The News and history programming for example, can encourage conversations about world events, national and local policy, problems social and health concerns.

- Talk to your child about the difference between facts and opinions. Teens should learn that not everything they see and hear is not necessarily true. Tell the TV show or movie you have seen, the radio or the music he listens to and reads like the magazine, have a particular viewpoint. Talk about how the media promote certain ideas or beliefs, which may not agree with their values. If your child wants to watch, listen or read something that you believe is inappropriate, let them know exactly why you disagree.

- Talk to your child about misleading ads. Teens are very susceptible to advertising. Talk to your children about the purpose of the ad-selling products, and how to judge whether the advertised products are suitable for him. For example, if your daughter has short hair, curly blonde, ask if you really think the $ 15 shampoo that he wants to purchase will result in long hair, dark and smooth, like the model in the magazine.

- Consider purchasing a "V-chip for your TV or a filter for your computer. A V-chip is a machine that puts you to filter TV programs according to their classification-X R, or PG and blocks pornographic, excessively violent or otherwise unsuitable for minors. There are also these filters to prevent your child from visiting certain Web sites on your computer. Most of these filters are free or cost a lot.

- Talk to your child about the risks you take when you enter "chat rooms" electronic. Make sure your child know the dangers of "talk" electronically with a stranger. There is software that prevents the use of these talks when children while allowing them to use the computer for other purposes.

- Talk to other parents. If you talk about movies, TV shows, games and CDs with the parents of your child's friends, you will have more authority to say no when she wants to see or hear something inappropriate. You can discover very quickly that not all seventh graders are allowed to see the latest film rated "R" which includes scenes of blood and extreme violence.

- Provide alternatives to media entertainment. According to teacher Bill Gangl, "If you give them enough activities, the TV goes away." Given the opportunity, many children would rather do than just watch. A day at the miniature golf course or visiting a friend can be more interesting than another night watching TV.

- Set a good example. If a teenager sees his parents paralyzed in front of the TV or checking your email while rushing to dinner, definitely going to capture a clear message. Parents who turn off the TV or computer and engage in good conversation, sports, games or other activities are showing by example other entertainment options. A modern teenager might ask "what was done before there was television (or computer and video games)?" Demonstrate by!

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Friendships


How I can help form good friendships and to resist harmful peer pressure?

Friendships can affect many areas of adolescent life-skills, how they spend their time, what clubs they belong and how they behave in public places like shopping malls. Youngsters who have difficulty forming friendships have a low self-esteem, do not stand out so well in school, sometimes not finishing high school, and fall into crime and suffer from a variety of psychological problems as adults .

Children of all ages need to feel they fit into your social life that are in their environment. Upon reaching adolescence, the need to be "part of the group is stronger than any other age. Friendships are closer and more important and will help determine who they are and where they go. It is more likely to form small groups or cliques, each with its special identity (eg, athletes, scholars, schoolchildren and the Stooges)

Many parents worry that their children's friends exert too much influence in their lives and that their influence will diminish. Parents worry even more if the friends of their children encourage them to participate in dangerous or harmful.

Studies by psychologist Thomas Berndt and colleagues have shown that friends do influence attitudes and behavior and that, over time, friends become more and more in their attitudes and behavior. For example, adolescents whose friends described themselves as problematic in school, tend to increase their own bad behavior in the course of the year.

The influence of friends feels much more from the seventh to ninth grades. During this time, friends often influence tastes in music, clothing and hairstyles, as well as activities in which to participate. However, peers do not replace parents. You remain who most influences the child's life. Adolescents tend to seek out parents more than friends when it comes to what plans do after high school, what career to choose and what religious and moral values \u200b\u200bwill follow. This influence is greatest when the relationship between father and son is strong.

Here are some tips to guide you in helping your child to form good friendships:

Teenagers tend to look to their parents than their friends when it comes to what plans do after high school.

- Recognize that peer pressure can be good or bad. Most adolescents are attracted to the friends who have many things in common. If your child chooses friends uninterested in school or take bad grades, may be less willing to study or do homework. If you choose friends who enjoy learning and get good grades, their motivation to excel academically will be stronger. Friends who avoid the use of alcohol or drugs will be a good influence on her son.

- Meet your child's friends. A good way to learn about your friends is to drive to events, talk to them in the car can reveal a lot. You can invite to your home. Help create a comfortable environment and offer something to eat. When friends come to visit you can allow your child to set the rules of conduct and at the same time give you the opportunity to better understand what they talk about and what are their concerns.

- Meet the parents of your child's friends. do not need to be intimate friends, but it helps to know whether the attitudes and preferences as parents are compatible with theirs. Former principal Carole Kennedy explains, "While the friend may seem okay, you need to know if an adult will be present in the other house to supervise." If you know the friends' parents will be easier to find what you need to know: where they go, with whom they are, what time activity begins and ends, will there be an adult and how they are transported to the event and home.

Spending time with friends, perhaps your child to change some behaviors that annoy others.

- Give your child free time in a safe place to hang out with friends. activities are important, but too many piano lessons and basketball practice can lead to burnout. Your child can develop new social skills and share ideas with friends if you allow free time to hang out with friends in a safe and supervised by adults. For example, among friends your child can learn that good friends know how to listen carefully, which are provided to help and are confident (but not too much), who demonstrate their enthusiasm, they have a good sense of humor and respect other people. Spending time with friends, perhaps your child to change some behaviors that annoy other people: being too serious or apathetic, too picky or stubborn.

- Talk to your child about friends, about friendship and how to make good choices. is very normal for teenagers to give much importance to what others think of them. Therefore it is extremely important that you talk to your kid about how to resist the pressure to disobey the rules or commit norms and values \u200b\u200bthat have been instilled. You can talk about being a good friend and how friendships are strengthened or diminished. You can also talk about the importance of making good decisions when riding with friends. "I always tell them, 'If it feels wrong, chances are it is,'" says teacher Barbara Braithwaite. Charles Summers The teacher tells his students and his own children, "You need to examine who you are when you're with that friend." He also suggests asking, "How do I want others describe me?" The answers that can guide children to give them to make better decisions.

- Teach how out of bad situations. Talk to your child about dangerous or inappropriate situations that may arise and how to cope. Ask your 14 year old daughter would do if a girlfriend came to an evening with a bottle of wine in her purse. Ask your 12 year old son what he would do if a friend suggested she leave school to buy hamburgers.

Ideally, young people can say "no" to a dangerous or destructive. But if you still have not learned this skill on their own, Ms. Marianne Cavanaugh, Connecticut mother suggested an alternative: "Sometimes kids do not want to do what the friends want to do. I tell my children blame me-to tell his friends that his mom says "no." Sometimes this takes away some pressure. "Finally, no child should leave home without change for the phone. As a last resort, this could save your life. A mobile phone may also be appropriate if family finances permit and if the boy knows how to use the phone responsibly.

- Monitor friendships to help your child avoid risky and unhealthy behaviors. Teens need supervision, especially during after school hours that are so important. Keep an eye on those who are friends your child and what they do when they get together. Bill Gangl, a middle school teacher in Minnesota, suggests, "Do not be afraid to be the annoying parent that calls the other house to make sure your child is there. And do not be afraid to say no."

Many middle school teachers and parents with children this age have different views on the consequences of trying to ban teens to get together with friends than their parents think they do not agree. Some youngsters will rebel if they are forbidden to hang out with some friends. Many adults who work with adolescents suggest better clarify the boy not only the fact that you do not feel comfortable with your choice of friends, but their reasons. They also suggest that you limit the amount of time and activities that let you do with those friends.

Many adults who work with adolescents suggest better clarify the boy not only the fact that you do not feel comfortable with your choice of friends, but their reasons.

- Set a good example as a friend. The example you provide has a greater impact than any sermon that can give you. Youngsters who see their parents treated with respect and kindness to each other and to their friends definitely have an advantage. Bake cookies for new neighbors or listening sympathetically when a friend may be sad a very powerful message for your child.

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The confidence


How I can help my child to become more self-confidence?

Teenagers often feel inadequate. They have new bodies and developing minds and relationships with friends and family that are changing. First understand that not always do everything right. Changes in their lives sometimes go faster than the ability to adapt.

Low self-esteem usually worsens during the first years of adolescence, then improves somewhat during the following years as new identities are strengthened and focused. At any age, lack of confidence itself can be a serious problem. Teens who lack self-esteem may be lonely, awkward in their dealings with others and very sensitive to criticism about what they think are their shortcomings. Young boys with low self-confidence are less likely to participate in activities with their peers and form friendships with them. This further isolates them and prevents develop a better image of themselves. And when you make friends, are more vulnerable to negative peer pressure.

Some teens who do not have confidence in themselves fail to participate in class. Others act out for attention. At its worst, lack of confidence is related to self-destructive behavior and bad habits such as smoking, drinking alcohol and taking drugs.

Girls often doubt themselves more than men (although there are exceptions). This is due to several reasons:

- Society sends the message that what matters is that they get along with everyone and to be very, very thin and pretty. Life can be equally hard for a boy who thinks he has to meet the expectations of society who say that all men must be good athletes and should play well for physical activity.
- Girls mature physically about two years earlier than males, which requires them to deal with issues as it looks, popularity and sexuality before they are emotionally mature to do so.
- The girls receive mixed messages about the importance of academic performance. Although they are told they must set high academic goals for themselves, many men fear that they will be displeasing if they seem too intelligent or capable, especially in mathematics, science and technology.

If your teen suffers from a crisis of confidence for a long time, you may benefit from seeing a counselor or another professional. This is particularly true if there is a problem with drugs or alcohol, a learning disability, an eating disorder like bulimia or anorexia, or clinical depression. (See the section entitled Problems, for more information that can help you determine if your child fits into one of these categories.) Most adolescents overcome periods of instability over time and with your support.

There are certain things that the teen feel more confident in their ability to do well than others.

Most psychologists feel that self-esteem and confidence in itself represent a variety of feelings that a young man has about himself under different circumstances. Psychologist Susan Harter has developed a theory about self-confidence that believes that a teenager feels about any type of activity and how important this type of activity for him. For example, adolescents may think about various situations: competing on the track team, studying mathematics, engage in romantic relationships, caring for younger siblings, and others. There are certain things that the teen feel more confident in their ability to do well than others. Perhaps you feel very good about his athleticism and knowledge of mathematics, but it feels bad when it comes to his romantic life is concerned. Perhaps doubt that it is a good brother. How well this young man will feel will depend on how important are each of these aspects of his life. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend is what matters most, this person will feel worse. If what matters most is to highlight both academically and in sports, then it is likely that their self-concept will be pretty good. Using this theory as a basis, the best ways to help your child develop self-confidence are:

. Provide opportunities to succeed. As stated by the teacher Diane Crim, "The best way to encourage confidence in someone is offering them opportunities to succeed. We must facilitate their success by giving them experiences through which they can see all the power they have. The boys are figuring out these experiences. Part of what creates confidence is knowing what to do when you do not know what to do.

Help your child to build confidence in their abilities to encourage you to take an art class, act in a play, play in a football or baseball team to participate in science fairs or computer clubs or play a musical instrument-whatever you enjoy and to help you highlight your best features. Do not push a specific activity to a force. Most children, no matter whether they are 3 or 13 years old, resist efforts to force them to do things that they enjoy. If they are pushed to do things they have not chosen to do, the result is frustration. Try to balance your child's experiences between activities already knows well and perform new activities or activities that he is not so.

You can help build self-confidence by giving tasks and family responsibilities in which he can succeed-saving dishwasher, cleaning his room or mowing the lawn.

. Help them feel safe and trust in themselves. The ability of young people to trust themselves unconditional love from their parents to help them feel safe and to develop the ability to solve their own problems. His son, just like all children, will face situations that require trust in yourself and others. But always worth your help to break through the tough situations with emotional development impaired. "We must teach our children how to cope with the problems they face, instead of easing the path," says teacher Anne Jolly.

. Talk about anxieties related to school violence and terrorism worldwide. Many children have seen the terrible images dies and destruction on television and the Internet. You can help your child understand that although our country has suffered awful terror, we are a strong people who can join and mutual support in difficult times. In addition, you can:

- Create a calm environment at home and in their own behavior. If your family has been directly affected by a terrorist attack or violence, this may be difficult. If you feel anxious, need to explain to your child what you are feeling and why. Children and young people are guided by emotional signals emitted by their loved ones.
- Listen carefully to what your child says. Reassure that adults in the world are working to increase safety in homes and schools.
- Help your child to discern between fiction and fact. Talk about the facts and avoid guessing, exaggerating or overreacting.
- Supervise the use of television, radio and the Internet. Prevent your child from seeing too many violent images, which can increase anxiety.
- Use examples from history (eg Pearl Harbor or the Challenger space shuttle explosion) to explain that sometimes bad things happen to the innocent, but people continue on with their lives and solve terrible situations in their lives.
- Maintain family routines as consistent as possible.

. Praise and encourage. Praise is meaningful to adolescents when they come from those who most want and who-their parents and other significant adults in their lives. When you praise your child build confidence in itself. But do not forget to praise must be sincere. It is going to realize very easily if it is not.

. Be patient. As adults, most people have developed confidence in themselves, which comes from years of experience with success, but after several years of exploring their strengths and weaknesses by emphasizing different aspects of their lives. Most of us would be very unhappy if we were to do only those things we do wrong. As adults we tend to find our strengths and, much as we can, we emphasize these areas more than others. For a teenager is very hard to minimize the areas where you feel safe. For example, it is very hard for a teenager who stands well academically focus on school instead of finding a mate if all your friends have girlfriends and I talk constantly about the importance of having someone special. This can be very frustrating for parents. You know that whether or not a couple to come out next Saturday is not what matters most in the long term, but can also see that at this moment he can not see well.

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How much freedom should I give?

When children enter adolescence beg their parents for more freedom. In contrast, the parents have to balance between their desire to foster greater confidence, greater ability to fend for themselves and the knowledge that the world can be a very dangerous and threatening the health and safety of children.

Some parents give them too much freedom in some wrong things, or give them too many privileges before the adolescent is ready for them. Other parents sin to keep too tightly with the children, denying them the opportunities they need to mature and learn to make decisions for themselves, and accept the consequences thereof.

Scientific studies indicate that adolescents do best when they maintain a strong bond with their parents but at the same time are allowed to have their own views and even disagree with them. Here are some tips to balance closeness and independence:

- Set limits. All children are reluctant to impose limits, but at the same time the want and need. In a world that busiest day is for adults and youth, the limits provide a sense of security. Often, teens feel unloved if their parents do not impose limits. The boundaries are easier to fix when it begins when children are young. It is more difficult but not impossible, to set limits during the early years of adolescence.

- Speak clearly. Most teens respond best to specific instructions that are repeated regularly. As a high school teacher said Sharon Sikora, "Do not just say, 'I want to clean your room' because they do not always sure what that means. Say, a non-argumentative, 'This is how I define a clean room. " They may say, 'I do not want the lamp in the corner, I want here. " Give them enough freedom to express themselves. "

- Give reasonable choices. When several choices teens are more willing to accept advice. For example, you can remind your child has to finish his task algebra before going to bed, but can give you to choose if you prefer to do homework before or after dinner. Or you can tell your 14 years can not walk with her friends in a video arcade Saturday night, but you can invite a group of friends to her house to watch movies.

If you use humor and creativity to offer several options, it will be easier for your child to accept. A teacher could not get your child to hang up clean clothes or deposit your dirty clothes in their basket. So I gave him two options, or all the clothes had to be raised or all the clothes would stay on the floor. "For a while I was washing clothes and putting them in piles on the floor," the teacher recalls. "I went crazy but it worked." After two weeks, her daughter got tired of searching their clothes on the floor and began to pick up your clothes.

- Grant independence in stages. As you increase maturity and responsibility of a teenager, you can give more privileges. Perhaps at first given the opportunity to choose their shoes, provided they do not cost more than a certain amount. Later you can let him make his own purchases, with the agreement that will remove the labels on the clothes until you approve your selection. Eventually you can give a fixed amount of money to buy clothes that you like.

He needs to know that the love you have requires you to prohibit certain activities or options that threaten their health or safety.

- Health and safety come first. The biggest responsibility as parents to protect the health and safety of your child. He needs to know that the love you have requires you to prohibit certain activities or options that threaten their health or safety. Let your child know what things you define as threats to their health and safety, and others-and do not allow no excuses or exceptions. It is sometimes difficult though, because adolescents often feel that nothing can hurt them. Teens feel that everything they are experiencing is new and unique, but also believe that what has happened to others can happen to them. His beliefs are based on the fact that adolescence is the healthiest stage of life. During this stage, diseases are not common and deadly diseases are extremely rare. The thing to emphasize is that although they enjoy a wonderful health, violence and accidents are major causes of death and injury among adolescents.

- Refuse to accept that cut off future options. not worth fighting for everything. Although it may offend your aesthetic sense that your child prefers to wear a shirt that does not match your pants, this is not an option to cut off future. Although teenagers are becoming more aware about the future, yet lack the experience necessary to fully understand how a decision will be made today affect the future. They may have heard that smoking is bad for your health, you may not understand what it means to die of lung cancer at the age of 45. Talk to your kids about the consequences of their decisions. Help them understand that there are good and bad decisions and know the difference between one and the other can make a difference in their lives. Let your child understand that you are the "guardian of the options" until he is mature and responsible enough to take the job: Perhaps so avoid missing school or to stop taking tough courses that will prepare you better for college. Help them

understand that there are good and bad decisions and know the difference between one and the other can make a difference in their lives.

- Guide, but resist the temptation to control. In the previous section we discussed the importance of adopting a balanced approach between imposing rules and allowing too much freedom. With most teenagers, the easiest way to achieve this balance is to guide without controlling them. Adolescents need opportunities to explore different roles, try on new personalities and experience. Implying that make mistakes and must learn to accept the results. But parents need to guide them to prevent youngsters making too many mistakes.

You can be a good guide to listen carefully and ask questions that help your child to think about the consequences of their actions: "What would happen if you allow a friend to bring you home drunk?" Their advice will be most appreciated if you ask your advice and follows them, provided they are reasonable: "What we cook for Daddy's birthday party?" "I have to work on Saturday. Is there anything special you want to do?"

line between guiding and controlling may be different for each person. Some children, whether they are 7 or 17 years of age, need more firmness and fewer privileges than other children the same age. A teacher explains how the differences in the behavior of their two teenagers created the need to define the limits for each: "My daughter understood very well that if it was supposed to come at twelve o'clock, this meant he would be after closed before 12, or it should have called the emergency room to inform them that had broken a leg. My son, 15 months her junior, thought the same rule meant that the arrival time of 12 meant at 11:59 that we would call to inform us that after eating the pizza that he and his friends had just ordered and after made six of his friends in their homes. "

- Let them make mistakes. all want our children to become adults who can solve problems and make good decisions. These skills are an integral part of independence. Without But to develop these skills, adolescents may need to fail a little, if risks are not too high and no health or safety is at risk. Making mistakes also teaches an important skill-how to recover from a misstep. It is very difficult for a youngster to learn how to pick himself up and start again if your parents always rescue him from life's difficulties.

- Ensure that actions have consequences. If you tell your child to get home at 10 midnight, do not ignore her coming home at noon. You lose credibility with your child if he does not suffer for having arrived two hours late. However, the punishment should be proportionate to the offense. A punishment for six weeks with plans for the whole family. Better talk to him about his tardiness has affected you. Could not wait to rest for. But you still have to get up at the regular time in the morning, prepare breakfast, do chores and go to work. But the lack of consideration of their son has caused various problems, and he will have to be responsible for some of their duties for you to go to bed early tomorrow.

Your teenager may want to dye her hair purple and pierce all over the body, but these expressions may be related to who he is and who she will become.

Finally, despite everything you hear or read, adolescents trust their parents more than any other person to guide the formation of their lives. As for the moral and ethical concerns, political and religious beliefs, adolescents usually have more in common with their parents than they realize. As parent, look beyond the surface, deeper than what the behavior suggests to find the person your teenager is about to become. Your child may want to dye her hair purple and pierce all over the body, but these expressions may be related to who he is and who she will become. But at the same time that many of the behaviors of adolescents are of greater consequence, some will not only be harmful if not fatal.

Parents need to talk with their children and make clear that many of the threats to their health and happiness in the future will not happen by accident, but because they chose-decisions like drinking and driving, smoking, take drugs, get into sexual activity, and leave the school.

Research indicates that adolescents who engage in risky behavior are more likely to participate in others, then parents should be direct and honest and talk to their children about the deadly consequences it entails to open that Pandora's box.

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Independence


How I can communicate better with my child?

Teens not noted for their communication skills, especially their parents and other adults who love them. Emily Hutchison, a Texas high school teacher, said that youngsters in the early years of adolescence "often feel they can communicate much better with anyone, provided they are not their parents-even wonderful parents." "They tend to be very reserved," says Patricia Lemons, a middle school teacher in New Mexico. "I do not necessarily want to tell what they did at school today."

Many psychologists have found that when parents know where their children and what they are doing (and when the adolescent knows the parent knows, what psychologists call monitoring), adolescents are less likely to have bad experiences including drugs, alcohol and snuff use, sexual activity and pregnancy, crime and violence. The key, according to psychologists, is to be inquisitive but not interfering, working to respect the privacy of your child to establish trust and closeness.

Sometimes the less you offer advice, the more they are going to ask your teen.

is easier to communicate with a teenager when these habits have developed since childhood. As school counselor Carol explains Bleifield, "You do not suddenly and asks his son in seventh grade, 'What did you do with your friends on Friday night?" "But it is impossible to improve communication when your child reaches adolescence. Here we give some Tips:

- Realize that no recipe exists for successful communication. What works for getting one child to talk about what is important, not always work with another. A high school teacher and mother of two says her daughter is very open and talkative, his son is more quiet. But as your child enjoys music, likes to write and read, often accompanied his mother to the local bookstore. There, in a comfortable place for him, that the child shares her stories and characters as a link to what he is thinking and feeling. When listening to music with him and review his literary works when he allows it, this mother encourages conditions that encourage the child to share with her.

- Listen. "You need to spend some time without talking," suggests Diane Crim, a middle school teacher in Utah. To listen means to avoid stop and pay attention. This is best done in a quiet place without distractions. It is also hard to listen carefully if you are cooking or watching television. Often the simple act of talking with your child about a problem or an issue helps to clarify things. Sometimes the less you offer advice, the more they are going to ask your teen. Listening can be the best way to uncover a serious problem requiring immediate attention.

- Create opportunities to talk. To communicate with your child, you must be available. Young adolescents resist the talks "scheduled", they do not open up when you tell them to, but when they want. Some teenagers like to talk when they get home from school. Others prefer to talk on the desk, or before going to bed. Some parents talk to their children in the car, preferably when the radio, tapes and CDs are not. "I take my daughter to the mall, not the one we have close, but more 'cool' which is an hour and a half away," says a middle school teacher who is also a mother. The best conversations grow out of activities shared. "Parents try to take advantage of odd moments and hope to have a deep communication with the child," notes Sherry Tipps, a teacher in Arkansas. "Then they get frustrated when they do not."

- Talk about your differences. Communication breaks down for some parents because they find it difficult to manage differences with their children. It is easier to limit the effect of these differences when you put in place clear expectations. If her 13-year-old knows he must be home by 9:30 pm, and knows the consequences of late, "the likelihood that she will be home on time increases.

Communication vanishes for some parents because they find it hard to manage differences with their children.

Differences of opinion are easier to manage when we recognize that these differences can provide important opportunities to assess the limits and negotiate new ones, a skill that is valuable for your child. For example, when your daughter is 14 years, might be good to give the opportunity to arrive later on special occasions. These negotiations are possible given the development of cognitive skills of his daughter and his ability to reason and consider many possibilities and prospects. Since she can consider your curfew should be later in weekends than on weekdays, if you insist that "it does not matter" will only create more conflict.

When differences arise, share your concerns with your child firmly but calmly warns that the differences become during the war. It is more useful to explain why a poor choice that your child has taken or wants to take: "If you take an algebra class will cut off lots of opportunities in the future. Many universities do not accept you if you have two years of algebra , plus geometry and trigonometry. Rather, let's get you some help with algebra. "

- Do not overreact. If you react too strong it is likely that what follows are just shouting and accusations that conversation. "Try to keep out of the conversation your anxiety and emotions, then young people will have a conversation," advises the eighth-grade teacher Anne Jolly from Alabama. Instead of reacting with anger, she says, "It is better to ask, 'What do you think about what you did? Let's talk about it'."

Middle school teacher Charles Summers adds, "Kids are more apt to share with someone they know will not divulge his secrets or bother too much if they will confess something. If your child says, 'I have something to say. On Friday I tried beer, ' and you lose your temper, you probably will not say anything again. "

During this period in which they judge themselves critically, adolescents are very vulnerable when they open with their parents. We know that best way to encourage a behavior is rewarded. If you are critical when your teenager talks to you, what he sees is that his openness gets punished rather than rewarded.

- Talk about things that are important for your teen. Each youngsters like to talk about different things. Some of the things they talk about may not seem important, but, as Carol explains Bleifield school counselor, "With kids, sometimes it is a whole different culture. You have to understand this, try to put in place and in his time. "But he also warns that we should not feign interest in something that bores you. By asking questions and listening, you show your child that you respect their feelings and opinions. These are some of the topics that interest them at this age:

. School. If you ask, "What did you do in school today?" the most likely answer is, "Nothing." Obviously, you know that's not true. In considering the assignment book or reading the notes that the child brings home, you will notice that on Tuesday, the 10 year old will begin studying the Hazard animal species in South America, or the football game is scheduled for Friday night. With this information at hand, you may ask your child about specific classes or activities, which will result in a better start to the conversation.

. Hobbies and personal interests. If your child loves sports, talk about your favorite team or watch the World Series or the Olympics together. Most adolescents are interested in music. Barbara Braithwaite, a middle school teacher in Pennsylvania notes that "Music is the signature of every generation. The music defines each age group. Parents must at least know the names of popular singers. "However, it is very important that you communicate clearly with your child if you think the music you hear is inappropriate, and explain why. If you keep silent, he can be interpreted as approval.

"Music is the signature of every generation. The music defines each age group. Parents ought to at least know the names of popular singers. "

. Emotions. As noted above, adolescents are very concerned for several reasons. They worry about: their friends, popularity, sexuality, being overweight or thin, the math test, grades, getting into college, being abandoned and the future of the world. And the list never ends. It is sometimes difficult to discern whether a problem is something important for your child. School counselor Carol Bleifield says that when you're unsure, she asks, "Is this a small problem, medium or large? How important is it for you? How often do you care?" In deciphering the magnitude and importance of the problem you can decide how to address.

. Family. Teenagers like to talk about and participate in the plans for the whole family, such as holidays, like the things that affect them individually, as the hours to get home and the amount of their salaries. Whether you need a back surgery, your child will want to know in advance. You may want to learn more about the operation. As part of this type of family conversations, your child will feel more confident of their membership in the family.

. Sensitive issues. Families should handle sensitive issues so that it fits well with your family values. Remember to avoid these issues will not eliminate its existence. If you avoid talking with your child about tough issues, most likely he will seek this information in the media or their friends. This increases the likelihood that what you hear does not agree with their values \u200b\u200bor that the information is incorrect, or both. Sharon Sikora, Colorado high school teacher, explains that high school students share a lot of misinformation on topics that are very important. They say they know about certain sensitive topics but they really do not. Tackling a sensitive subject directly may not work, Ms. Sikora notes. "You can not sit back and say, 'Today we will talk about using marijuana." That is the most direct way to end a conversation without ever start. "

. The parents' lives, hopes and dreams. Many teens want to have a window to the world of their parents, the world past and present. How old were you when you get your ears pierced? Did you ever have a teacher who made you crazy? Did you get an allowance when you were 11? What gave you the grandparents? Did you feel sad when Grandpa died? How is your boss at work? This does not mean you should feel compelled to share all his troubles with his son. Remember you are his father, not his equal, and sometimes it's best not to respond to an indiscreet question. However, remember details of his childhood and his life today can help your child to start giving out his own life.

. The future. As adolescents' cognitive abilities are developed, they begin to think more in the future and its possibilities. Your child may want to talk more about what we can anticipate that life has to offer over the coming years, how will life after high school, work, marriage. You might ask, "How is living in a dorm room?" "How old do you have to get married?" "What are the chances that the world will explode one day?" "Will there be enough gas in the world so that I can drive a car when she's older?" These questions deserve your best guess. (And if you can not answer with certainty, these questions deserve a "Do not know" honest)

. Cultural events. live in a world saturated by media. Even young children are constantly exposed to television programs, music, movies, electronic games and other media. Do not forget that your child chooses means you can open a window into their world. For example, if you have seen the same movie (together or on their own), you may ask how you liked and what were their favorite.

cause no matter how hard it is always best answer calmly.

. Communicate with kindness and respect. Teens sometimes say or do embarrassing things or malicious, sometimes both. No matter how much cause it's always best to respond calmly. Respect and self-control that you display when talking with your child one day will yield fruit in their relationships and conversations with other people.

The way in which things are said is almost as important as what you say. "Stop picking at your face" can mourn a teenager. "Your room looks like a pigsty" is not as helpful as, "You need a little time to collect your room. It will be easier if you spend 5 minutes right now picking the clothes off the floor, putting the dirty in the hamper and hanging the clean. After lunch you can reorganize your bookshelf for another 5 minutes. "Kids pay much attention to the tone of voice you use with them. A 10-year-old can easily tell a calm voice and a voice full of courage.

Kindness goes hand in hand with respect. As explained by Joan Lipsitz, a national expert on the education of high school and mother of two adult children, "When I was an active parent and teacher, I followed a rule that developed from my experience in the classroom: "If I never intentionally cruel to you, you will not be intentionally unkind to me. " That rule proved to be the most powerful ruler ever noticed, either in the classroom, it changed the culture, or at home. "

Communicating with respect also requires not talking with young people. They are becoming more socially conscious and knowledge of the world and its events, and appreciate the thoughtful conversations. Jerri Foley, a school counselor in South Carolina, tells a story about a trip she made with a group of girls while in the state was debating whether it was appropriate to continue waving the Confederate flag from the Capitol. "We were on the road when it began a great discussion on the subject, "she recalls." Our conversation came to an intensity that we missed the exit to home. "

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communication How to be an effective parent

What I can do to be a good parent for my adolescent?

Parents often less involved in the lives of their children when they enter high school. But a teen needs the same amount of attention and love from you that when I was younger, and perhaps a little more. A good relationship with you and other adults is the best defense for your child as he grows and explores. For when you reach adolescence, you will already have had years of experience with him, the baby's father today will be the teenager's father tomorrow.

Your relationship with your child may change-in fact, is almost certain to be changed, as you develop the skills necessary to succeed as an adult. These changes can be enjoyable and beneficial. As your middle school child develop mentally and emotionally, their conversations will be more rich and meaty. As your interests develop and deepen, your teen will teach you "how to throw a baseball, what is happening in the city council or county board, or the merits of a new book.

The people of Spain has a wide variety attitudes, opinions and values. The estpañoles have different ideas and priorities, which affect how we raise our children. Despite these differences, research has shown that effective parents have the following qualities:


- Showing love. When children misbehave, make us angry. We also feel bad because we are angry or upset. But these feelings do not mean that we do not want our children. Teens need adults who can tell, people who connect with them, communicate with them, spend time with them and show interest genuine welfare. They learn to care for and love others. According to school counselor Carol Bleifield, "Parents can love their children but not necessarily love what they do-and children need to trust that this is true."

- Dan support. Adolescents need support as they struggle with problems that perhaps parents and families do not think they are so important. They need praise when they've done their best. They need encouragement to develop interests and personal characteristics.

Adolescents need adults who can tell, people who connect with them, communicate with them, spend time with them and show genuine concern for their welfare.

- set limits. Teens need parents or other adults to give them structure and supervision that is firm and suitable for their age and stage of development. The limits help to keep emotionally safe for all children and adolescents. Carole Kennedy is a former high school principal, a director-in-residence of the Department of Education of the United States (2000) and president of the National Association of Elementary School Principals. She puts it as follows, "They need parents who can say," No, you can go to the mall all day or to movies with this group of guys. " Psychologist Diana Baumrind identified three parenting styles: authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative expert. In analyzing the results of more than 20 years of research, she and her colleagues found that to be effective parents, it is best to avoid extremes. Authoritarian parents impose rigid rules and expect their children to always obey or indulgent parents who have few rules and give them too much freedom to their children, parents are likely to have more difficulties with their children. Children are at high risk for adverse emotional and behavioral. However, authoritative parents, who set clear limits and with good explanations, tend to have fewer difficulties with their teens. "Do as I say" probably did not very good results with your child when he was 6 years, and now that is a teenager, they will pay even less. (For more information on setting limits, see the section entitled Independence.)

- a role model. Teenagers need good examples. Try to live with the behavior and values \u200b\u200bthat you expect your child to develop. His actions speak louder than words. If you set high goals for yourself and treat others with kindness and respect, is more likely that your child will follow suit. While explore possibilities of adolescents who want to be, they look for examples from their parents, peers, celebrities and others to define who they are.

If you set high goals for yourself and treat others with kindness and respect, is more likely that your child will follow suit.

- Teaching responsibility. not born knowing how to act responsibly. A sense of responsibility is formed over time. As children grow, they learn to become increasingly responsible for:
do their homework, such as yard work, clean their rooms or helping to prepare the meals, that contribute to family welfare;
completing homework assignments without being nagged,
involved in community activities;
find ways to help others, and
be responsible for good and bad decisions made .

- Provide a variety of experiences. Adolescence is a time for exploring new areas and doing new things. Your child may try new sports, or new academic pursuits and read new books. Perhaps experiment with different types of art, or want to learn from different cultures or races and take part in community or religious activities. Depending on your resources, you can open doors for your child. You can introduce new people and new worlds. In doing so, you may renew interest or talent that has been ignored for years, and can set a good example for your child. Do not be discouraged when his interests change.

- Showing respect. is very tempting to label all young people as difficult and rebellious. But these youngsters vary as much as children in any other group. Your child needs to be treated with respect, which requires you to acknowledge and appreciate their differences and treat it as an individual. He also requires you to show compassion by trying to see things from their point of view and consider their needs and feelings. By treating your teenager with respect, you help to find pleasure in good behavior.

There are no perfect parents. But keep in mind that a bad decision during a difficult day (or week or month) will have a long-term negative effect on your child's life. What matters most to be an effective parent is what you do over time.

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Changes - Changes

cognitive changes

cognitive or mental changes of early adolescence are less easy to observe, but can be as dramatic as the physical and emotional changes. During adolescence, most children move dramatically in the way they think, reason and learn. Young children need to see and touch things to convince themselves that they are real. But during the early years of adolescence, children improve their ability to think about ideas and things they can not see or touch. They can better reasoning to solve problems and anticipate consequences or consider different points of view or action. For the first time, they can reflect on what might be, rather than what it is. A 6-year-old thinks that a person who smiles is happy and that a person feels sad cries. A 14-year-old could reason that a person who feels sad smile to hide his true feelings.

cognitive changes allow teens to learn more advanced material in school. They are more eager to acquire and apply new knowledge and consider a variety of ideas and options. These mental changes also apply to their emotional lives. For example, within the family, the ability to reason may change the way the teen speak and act against their parents. Anticipate the reactions of parents to what it says or does and prepares an answer or an explanation beforehand.

Additionally, these mental changes cause adolescents to consider who they are and who want to become. This process is called identity formation and is a major activity during adolescence. Most teenagers explore a variety of identities. Take "steps" that a father seems to change constantly. In fact, teens who do not pass through this period of exploration are more prone to psychological problems, especially depression, when they become adults.

Like adults with more experience and cognitive maturity may struggle with their different roles or roles, adolescents struggle to develop a sense of who they are. They begin to realize that play different roles with different people: son or daughter, friend, teammate, student and worker, among others.

They begin to realize that play different roles with different people: son or daughter, friend, teammate, student and worker, among others.

Teenagers may think more like adults, but still lack the necessary experience to act like adults. As a result, their behavior may not fit their ideas. For example, your child can participate excitedly on a walk to raise funds to rescue the environment, while throwing soda cans in the street while walking. Or you can spend all night on the phone or computer, exchanging messages with a friend talking about how they dislike a partner because it is gossip.

takes time for adolescents and their parents to adapt to these changes. But changes can also be very exciting. These changes allow the teen to see how it will become in the future and make plans in order to become the person you want to be.

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Cognitive Changes - Changes

Emotional

Most experts believe the idea that teens are governed by the "raging hormones" is exaggerated. However, this is an age full of rapid changes in emotional state, the evil genius and a great need for privacy, as well as the tendency to be temperamental. Young children can not think far ahead, however, children themselves can and often do-that often results in worry about the future. Some may worry excessively about:

- their performance at school;
- their appearance, their physical development and popularity;
- the possibility that one parent dies,
- being bullied at school;
- school violence;
- no friends,
- drugs and alcohol;
- hunger and poverty in the country;
- failure to obtain employment;
- nuclear bombs or terrorist attacks in the country;
- divorce his parents, and
- death.

Many teens are a bit self-conscious. And because the physical and emotional changes are drastic, they can also be very sensitive about themselves. You may worry about personal qualities or "defects" that they believe are very important, but for others they are inconsequential. (They think: "I can not go to the party tonight because all will laugh at the shin bring ball size on the forehead." Fact: The pimple is tiny and hides hair.) A teenager can also be fairly self-absorbed. You can believe he is the only person in the world feels like it, or have the same experiences, or that is so special that no one else, especially his family, can understand. This belief may contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Moreover, the approach itself can affect how the adolescent is related to family and friends. ("I can not bear see me going to the movies with my mom !")

adolescent emotions sometimes seem exaggerated. His actions are inconsistent. It is normal for teenagers to suddenly change emotional state, between happiness and sadness, between being smart or stupid. In fact, some experts believe that adolescence is a second early childhood. As Carol explains Bleifield, a secondary school counselor in Wisconsin "At the moment they want to be treated and cared for as a young child. But five minutes later want adults to move away from them, saying, 'Let me do it alone'." May be beneficial if you help them understand that they are going through a stage with many great changes, changes which are not always result in progress. "

Besides the emotional changes that they feel, adolescents explore various ways to express their emotions. For example, a previously healthy young friends and visits with affectionate hugs, can suddenly switch to a teenager who salutes the slightest recognition. Similarly, the hugs and kisses before expressing his love for his parents now become a departure and an expression of, "You leave me, Mama." It is important to remember that these are changes to the ways they express their feelings, and no changes to itself feelings for his friends, his parents and other relatives.

But is pending for signs of excessive emotional swings or periods of long-lasting sadness. These signs may indicate severe emotional problems. (For more information, see the section entitled problems.)

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Emotional - Physical changes


How will my child change between 10 and 14 years old?

All people grow and change throughout life, but during the early years of adolescence, the speed of these changes is particularly evident. We believe that 10 years of age are still children, but we think that upon reaching age 14, they are "almost adults." We are happy to see the changes, but also make us a bit difficult to handle. When children are small, it is easier to predict when a change is coming and how soon it will manifest. But during the early years of adolescence, the relationship between the true age of a child [***] and the rates of development are mitigated. The exact way that young developed in these years is influenced by several factors: for example, genetics, families, friends, neighborhoods, values \u200b\u200band other social forces. Physical changes



Upon entering puberty, adolescents undergo major physical changes, not only in relation to your height and figure, but also in other ways, such as the development of pubic and armpit hair and the smell that exudes from their bodies. In girls, changes include the development of breasts and the onset of menstruation in men, changes include the development of the testes.

Not all adolescents begin puberty at the same age. In girls, these changes can come between 8 and 13 years of age in boys puberty usually begins two years later. This is the period during which the physical characteristics vary more among classmates and between friends-some may grow so that by the end of the school year no longer fit into the desks allocated to them last September. For others, the changes come more slowly.

Early adolescence brings new concerns about self-image and physical appearance. Youth of both genders who previously did not care about looks now spend hours front of the mirror, worrying or complaining, either for being too tall, short, fat or thin, or their fight against acne. Not all parts of the body grow at the same time or as quickly. The hands and feet, for example, can grow faster than arms and legs. Since the body movement requires the coordination of its parts, and these parts are changing at their own pace, adolescents may be clumsy in their physical activities.

The rapid physical growth and development may influence other aspects of adolescent life. A girl of 11 who has reached puberty will have different interests from a the girl who reaches up to 14. Teens who grow too early or too late with their particular concerns. Those who develop very late (especially boys) may feel they can not participate in sports and compete with more developed partners. Those who develop very early (especially girls) may feel pressured to get into adult situations before they are emotionally or mentally prepared to face them. The effects of age at which they begin puberty changes, combined with the ways in which friends, colleagues, families and society in general respond to these changes, can have long-term effects on a teenager. However, some teenagers like to develop differently from their friends. For example, you may have certain advantages, especially in sports, which offered early development on the peers who mature more slowly.

No matter how they are developed, many adolescents have a distorted view of themselves and need to be reassured that the differences in the speed of its development are normal.

*** Note: In this blog we use the masculine and feminine gender interchangeably, using at times "child" and sometimes "girl." Our intention is to simplify the language. It is understood, however, that all our reading recommendations apply equally to girls and boys.

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Some obstacles, but not mountains


Mention that have teenage children and other adults will respond with a look of "I'm sorry." Perhaps they think the work missed rooms where floor space shared with potato chip wrappers and dirty clothes.

But the concerns of parents are usually more messy bedrooms. They worry about the problems facing young people today often-turbulent emotions, peer pressure, low motivation, drugs, alcohol and pregnancy.

A step important to help your child-and yourself-is to learn everything you can about the world in which adolescents live, the world fascinating, confusing and wonderful years between 10 and 14 years of age.

Between 10 and 14 years of age, children change physically, emotionally and mentally. All of these changes can throw the lives of teenagers and their parents. Major problems may arise, particularly among children for other reasons and are at risk of school failure.

On the other hand, if you talk to adults who work with adolescents, teachers, school counselors and principals-you see another point of view. Is true that young teens can be frustrating and challenging, and that can end our patience. However, it is also true that these same youngsters can be funny, curious, with a great imagination and eager to learn. As research confirms, most teens face some obstacles, but no boulders. They (and their parents) hit some rough spots, but during adolescence than to become adults who develop their careers, engage in meaningful relationships and become good citizens.

The journey through these years is easier when parents, families and caregivers learn everything you can about this time in life when children and support them. This blog has been designed with this purpose in mind. Collects information based on scientific studies and interviews with teachers, counselors and principals who have distinguished themselves nationally, and which are or have been parents of teenagers. This blog intends to respond to questions and concerns that parents of adolescents often share:

How will my child change between 10 and 14 years old?
What I can do to be a good father to my teen?
How I can better communicate with my child?
How much freedom should I give?
How I can help my child to become more self-confidence?
How I can help form good friendships and to resist harmful peer pressure?

The journey through these years is easier when parents, families and caregivers learn everything you can about this time in life when children and support them.

What I can do to make the media do not have a negative influence on my child?
How is the school for teens?
What is the best way to stay involved in my child's school activities?
What I can do to help my child succeed in reading?
How I can motivate my child to learn and both in and out of school?
What I can do to help my child develop moral values \u200b\u200band learn to distinguish between right and wrong?
What I can tell-and what I do-if my child has a serious problem?

Fantastyka 1984 Gambit Pionka

Prologue - Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence

The first years of adolescence can be a challenging time for parents and children. Parents often feel ill-prepared and may view the years between 10 and 14 as a stage to be "stay happens." However, the latest scientific research, as well as common sense would indicate that this view is very limited. During the early years of adolescence, parents and families can exert great influence on the growth and development of their children. Do not give them the credit they deserve if we expect too little of the boys, and let us give credit as parents if we do not have much influence on them.

A growing recognition that young people can achieve great things behind the national effort to improve education in secondary schools. The basis of the No Child Left Behind, lies in the promise of raising standards of achievement for all children and help all children to achieve. To further this goal, the government is committed to promoting the best teaching programs. Well-trained teachers and instruction based on the latest scientific research, can ensure that the best educational strategies and programs to achieve the highest quality to all children and help to ensure that no child is left behind. Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence is part of the efforts of this blog to provide parents with scientific research and the latest practical information to help them support their children at home and at school.

is not easy parenting a teenager. Many outside influences distract and complicate our efforts. Fatigue, anxiety, lack of support and limited resources can be hard for us to be everything we want for our children. But no matter what our obstacles, we share a great goal: To be the best parents for our children. We hope you will feel that this blog has been helpful in their efforts to achieve this goal.

Steve Hutchinson Signed Football

Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence

We're going to start today the release of a English adaptation of the work published by the Department of Education U.S. Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence .

is particularly directed to parents with children between the ages of 10 to 14 years and consists of the following chapters:

Title

Foreword

Bumps, not mountains



Changes Being an effective parent Communication




Independence
The confidence


Friendships media




Secondary Parent Involvement



Reading Motivation



Family values Conclusion

problems


Resources Awards


Tips to help your child during the first years of adolescence

No Child Left Behind